every second minute hour or day that passes is another part of me that loses light. for a moment it seemed alright. you were there and it was still us. and i knew that at the end of all this i would eventually come home to you. but if all of this were true then why do i feel further away from you. just hold on a little longer. but the longer i wait the more i feel pain and not love. love is a choice, they say. so let this be mine.
i wanted to ask him if he could tell me something good,
but then i looked up and saw that
his eyes were nearly shut.
he was holding me close
with both his arms;
whispered like a feather, “my love.“
this isn’t something good,
it’s much more than that.
how crazy is it that we go from living our lives together everyday to not being able to see and feel each other for months on end;
how crazy is it that i have to hang on to the last words i heard from you on the phone, or the last photo i took of you, or the only shirt i have that’s yours, or the last memory i have of us, which at this point, is as vague as last night’s dream;
how crazy is it that i’m still here, waiting for a miracle to arrive
my body is in constant war between what i want
and what i think is right for me
and when every bone in my body aches for you
and every pulse builds myself up for the inevitable
you with all your gentleness
and with all your love
look me in my eyes
hold my hands close to your chest
and in that moment i simply know that
that is all it takes
and allow myself
to come home to you
Art by @butterflyyboy
my thoughts are difficult to gather
my words are getting way too ahead of themselves to form the right thing to say
but there is no one right thing to say, is there?
when you’re around me
i lose myself
and whether or not this is a good or bad thing
i wouldn’t have it any other way
it’s a funny thing
when the doors close and you leave my side
i find myself back to the where i was in the beginning
my thoughts racing
my heart aching
my mind goes back to those quiet seconds
when all i feel is your
lips touching that soft spot on my neck
hands gently touching my back
soft breath moving against my skin
it pulls me closer in every way
now i’m left with thoughts of you with nothing to hold onto
stay with me and let me love you in every way
— you don’t know it, but you bring me to my knees just by doing the bare minimum
and warm conversations about the sky, the ground, and everything in between
you take a deep breath
and i brush my hair back and look up
you take a sip of your drink
and feel the warmth flowing down your chest
our eyes meet
and i see the light of the moon reflecting back at me
in this moment, you smile at me
and i let out a soft laugh for the way everything falls right where it should
this sound night
— there’s no other way i’d have it.
i want to make a universe out of you
pick out all the times i saw the light in your eyes
and create stars out of them
drawing constellations from the way i trace lines with my fingers around your body
keeping the heat between us two when all we know are each other’s skin
this will be the same heat of our sun
when there is darkness and i reach out to you for light
this will be the same light of our moon
and the forces that come from your every laugh, cry, or shout
will be the same forces that will keep our universe alive
if only i could,
readily and wholeheartedly,
i would give you the sun, moon, and stars.
but i’ve come to realise that
we’ve created a whole universe on our own.
i look up to you as if
you carry the sun, moon, and stars.
you are the universe we’ve come so far creating all on our own.
this is the universe i call my home.
— how a universe is made
[time with you is a quiet and comforting existence;
in those seconds our eyes find each other
in those seconds i feel your warmth all around me
in those seconds you mark yourself on all parts of me
in those seconds when words and laughter fill the air
in those seconds when silence lingers]
our space is safe.
our space is kind.
our space is where all our love flows.
time and space simply subsist around us,
but time with you
and spaces with you in it
are the reasons for their very existence.
don’t you see that
you make the difference?
whenever i look around me,
it’s pure chaos.
i don’t know where to turn,
but i seem to always be moving,
moving in directions,
where i am told to go.
these things that surround me right now don’t feel right.
and i honestly don’t know if i will ever have the courage to turn away from them.
my heart aches for meaning.
my mind searches for clarity.
my soul begs for purpose.
nothing ever makes much sense to me, very few things do.
i look around me,
and there is you.
you, my love.
you, my light.
you, my sanity.
the world can push me in all the directions it wants,
but the moment i fall in your arms,
i’m in your arms, and my heart is light.
i’m in your arms, and my mind is at peace.
i’m in your arms, and i am safe.
”what’s one word you would use to describe me?”
“hmm, that’s a tough one.”
“come on. off the top of your head, go.”
and not because i love you
or because i’m in love with you
or because i think you’re the love of my life.
i say love because it encompasses everything and everything in between.
it goes beyond the things we see, know, and feel now.
love is in the breaths we take seconds, minutes, and hours from now when each other is still what is on each other’s minds.
love is that point beyond my knowing of things, but still knowing it’s you.
crazy simple yet undoubtedly sure,
love is you,
and you are love.