the healing

weeks have passed

and here i stand

it’s been the fourth flight

the twentieth encounter with a new face

one too many destinations to count

and the healing goes on

i miss you

of course i do

and this will remain an unspoken truth

i love you

i always do

it’s something that will always live between me and you

but from a quiet distance

these will have to do

cities

toronto;

urban playground — catch the spirit of this generation and find yourself going up and down the streets of this urban playground

edmonton;

rustic reminiscence — breathe in the familiar as time stands still in this ever comforting town

san francisco;

canvas — let the vibrance and energy of this beautiful city fill the white space to create art as worthy as itself

los angeles;

city of lost angels — we may be lost but something about this sea of strangers makes us feel like we are a part of something

The Airport Effect

Going somewhere unfamiliar has always been a challenge within the idea of itself. The very thought of leaving leaves us lonely and nostalgic, but there might have been some things that they forgot to tell you about leaving behind the familiar. 

You can never truly find what you are looking for in the midst of mindsets that urge you to stay within your comfort zone. There is a reason for that yearning you feel inside of you to get a taste of something you have never known before. And that is possibly why I get so enlivened in airports.

Everywhere you turn is a new and different story unfolding. There is that security guard who has worked in that terminal for more than half of his life watching people come and go. There is that airport employee manning the check-in counters deciding who you get to sit beside in an eight-hour flight. But more importantly, there is you. There is that traveler who chooses to leave home for a while to see what else this world has to offer; that same traveler who gave in to the desire to venture out to a certain city to see if what she has been feeling can be healed by the mere uncertainty of who you are going to meet or where you are going to end up.

You see, airports are actually just a small part of a grander thing happening for every person leaving. It does not tell you where you are meant to go, but it allows you to do exactly what you need to do. It gathers up the adventurers, courageous souls, and anyone who wants to find something that would deem itself significant.

The whole concept of finding yourself is sometimes overly fantasized by films, social media, or any form of literature. One thing is certain, you do not find yourself the moment you step out of that plane. And every so often, it is not mostly about the destination or end-point, but the journey you have taken to get there. “It’s the excursion that shapes us,” said Rebecca Sambursky.

It is the people you encounter, new places you go to, flavors you taste for the first time, art of everything you are witnessing, and feelings and emotions you face along the way. In essence, it is how you choose to respond to these things. 

Do not be too caught up with the fast-paced lives of most people. Learn to slow things down around you and notice the beauty, energy, and everything that lingers there. If you pay too much attention to the noise and distractions, you can miss it. That is why slowing down is so important because these moments of realization can fade away in a single second. And what you are going to find can be all sorts of life-changing sensations. You find yourself in those people, those moments, and those in-betweens, where you sort of have an epiphany; and all the dots will eventually start to connect.

black & white

hidden tears and quiet questioning

of what no longer is

the consciousness of this comes and goes

the gray matter in between never existed with you

you made me shine my brightest, the sun would have been offended

and all the while

you made me feel my most vulnerable

the oceans have produced the strongest waves

the heavens have turned the most peaceful skies into unbelievable storms

and at one point 

i think mountains have been moved in the name of our love

and so

do you get my point about the gray matter not existing?

we’re either too caught up with our softest conversations in the middle of the night

or

we’re too busy setting this world into flames

grenade

i have the ability to cause mini explosions

brought about by feelings that i thought were long gone

like a small hand grenade

i was lit up — brought to life by your smile, your presence

i was thrown in the air — felt like i was flying at the touch of your hand

and the moment i hit the ground again,

i exploded — with every feeling and memory coming right before me

but unlike a grenade,

all the pain is coming off in the softest way possible

and the only casualty, however, was me