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whenever i look around me,
it’s pure chaos.
i don’t know where to turn, 
but i seem to always be moving, 
moving in directions, 
where i am told to go.

these things that surround me right now don’t feel right.
and i honestly don’t know if i will ever have the courage to turn away from them.
my heart aches for meaning.
my mind searches for clarity.
my soul begs for purpose.
nothing ever makes much sense to me, very few things do.

i look around me,
and there is you.

you, my love.
you, my light.
you, my sanity.

the world can push me in all the directions it wants,
but the moment i fall in your arms,
i’m untouchable.

i’m in your arms, and my heart is light.
i’m in your arms, and my mind is at peace.
i’m in your arms, and i am safe.

new normal

my heart aches for the moments

that used to take my breath away;

existing in that soft and quiet in-between when i wake up before the morning rush,

staring out an airplane window,

the way my stomach feels when driving up and down a hill-like street,

dancing in a bar until two in the morning,

hearing the song from the crowd in a stadium,

ordering my usual pasta dish in my favorite restaurant,

looking at the the sunset on my walk back home,

walking on the sand,

holding your hand,

kissing you good night,

or simply waving goodbye without the uncertainty of seeing someone again.

— my heart aches to once more live out the passions and sweet simplicities of being human

same city

the last time i was here i was in a different place

the surroundings and everything that it encompassed

were in place to bring me comfort

the city was a distraction

where i had to seek meaning for the events that had just transpired

but standing here today

i feel whole

with a better sense of myself, of love, and of life

i didn’t leave my heart in the city

i carried it with me wherever i went

and i allowed it to heal with every new sight and feeling

it’s the same city

same buildings

and same atmosphere

the only difference is the time that has passed since then

and if you ask me,

sometimes time is really all it takes to put things into perspective

and in time,

it will all truly make sense to you again.

eyes

i wish my eyes could see the views of mountains

i wish my eyes could see the waves pushing forward onto the shore

i wish my eyes could see the light of every sleeping hour from miles and miles away

i wish my eyes could see the warm light flashing from the sinking sun

i wish my eyes could see the dreams that people dream for themselves

i wish my eyes could see you, in a sea of what seems to be all love, hurt, hope, and rush of every dawn that comes

i wish my eyes could see myself standing in the midst of every breathing thing in this world

so that i may know

the life i want for myself before i leave it all to the blinding motions of every day

— because these eyes can only see for so long