let this be mine

every second minute hour or day that passes is another part of me that loses light. for a moment it seemed alright. you were there and it was still us. and i knew that at the end of all this i would eventually come home to you. but if all of this were true then why do i feel further away from you. just hold on a little longer. but the longer i wait the more i feel pain and not love. love is a choice, they say. so let this be mine.

for you

to the baby,
who was born out of the strength of her mother
who was held and wrapped with love
who saw the sky for the first time

to the child,
who felt and fell on the ground before ever rising from it
who looked at the world with big eyes
who spoke of things she read from books

to the girl,
who dreamed
who asked questions
who hated her body
who cried and laughed
who grew up

to the young woman,
who saw the world for what it truly is
who heard things that built and broke her
who gave her heart
who sacrificed her passion
who lost herself
who struggled to find the light again

to the woman,
who tries
who gives everything
who smiles with tears in her eyes
who is finding her way back
who continues to get up with every sunrise after all that she has been through

this is for you.

new normal pt. 2

how crazy is it that we go from living our lives together everyday to not being able to see and feel each other for months on end;

how crazy is it that i have to hang on to the last words i heard from you on the phone, or the last photo i took of you, or the only shirt i have that’s yours, or the last memory i have of us, which at this point, is as vague as last night’s dream;

how crazy is it that i’m still here, waiting for a miracle to arrive

coming home to you

my body is in constant war between what i want
and what i think is right for me

and when every bone in my body aches for you
and every pulse builds myself up for the inevitable

you with all your gentleness
and with all your love
look me in my eyes
hold my hands close to your chest
and say
it’s alright.

and in that moment i simply know that 
that is all it takes
to free
and allow myself
to come home to you

Art by @butterflyyboy

the bare minimum

my thoughts are difficult to gather
my words are getting way too ahead of themselves to form the right thing to say
but there is no one right thing to say, is there?

when you’re around me
i lose myself
and whether or not this is a good or bad thing
i wouldn’t have it any other way

it’s a funny thing
when the doors close and you leave my side
i find myself back to the where i was in the beginning
my thoughts racing
my heart aching

my mind goes back to those quiet seconds
when all i feel is your
lips touching that soft spot on my neck
hands gently touching my back
soft breath moving against my skin
it pulls me closer in every way

now i’m left with thoughts of you with nothing to hold onto
stay with me and let me love you in every way

— you don’t know it, but you bring me to my knees just by doing the bare minimum

happy birthday

quiet nights
and warm conversations about the sky, the ground, and everything in between

you take a deep breath
and i brush my hair back and look up

you take a sip of your drink
and feel the warmth flowing down your chest

our eyes meet
and i see the light of the moon reflecting back at me

in this moment, you smile at me
and i let out a soft laugh for the way everything falls right where it should

this sound night
and you

— there’s no other way i’d have it.