i want to make a universe out of you
pick out all the times i saw the light in your eyes
and create stars out of them
drawing constellations from the way i trace lines with my fingers around your body
keeping the heat between us two when all we know are each other’s skin
this will be the same heat of our sun
when there is darkness and i reach out to you for light
this will be the same light of our moon
and the forces that come from your every laugh, cry, or shout
will be the same forces that will keep our universe alive
if only i could,
readily and wholeheartedly,
i would give you the sun, moon, and stars.
but i’ve come to realise that
we’ve created a whole universe on our own.
i look up to you as if
you carry the sun, moon, and stars.
you are the universe we’ve come so far creating all on our own.
this is the universe i call my home.
— how a universe is made
[time with you is a quiet and comforting existence;
in those seconds our eyes find each other
in those seconds i feel your warmth all around me
in those seconds you mark yourself on all parts of me
in those seconds when words and laughter fill the air
in those seconds when silence lingers]
our space is safe.
our space is kind.
our space is where all our love flows.
time and space simply subsist around us,
but time with you
and spaces with you in it
are the reasons for their very existence.
don’t you see that
you make the difference?
whenever i look around me,
it’s pure chaos.
i don’t know where to turn,
but i seem to always be moving,
moving in directions,
where i am told to go.
these things that surround me right now don’t feel right.
and i honestly don’t know if i will ever have the courage to turn away from them.
my heart aches for meaning.
my mind searches for clarity.
my soul begs for purpose.
nothing ever makes much sense to me, very few things do.
i look around me,
and there is you.
you, my love.
you, my light.
you, my sanity.
the world can push me in all the directions it wants,
but the moment i fall in your arms,
i’m in your arms, and my heart is light.
i’m in your arms, and my mind is at peace.
i’m in your arms, and i am safe.
”what’s one word you would use to describe me?”
“hmm, that’s a tough one.”
“come on. off the top of your head, go.”
and not because i love you
or because i’m in love with you
or because i think you’re the love of my life.
i say love because it encompasses everything and everything in between.
it goes beyond the things we see, know, and feel now.
love is in the breaths we take seconds, minutes, and hours from now when each other is still what is on each other’s minds.
love is that point beyond my knowing of things, but still knowing it’s you.
crazy simple yet undoubtedly sure,
love is you,
and you are love.
one, two, three. hold.
cause there is nothing more beautiful than
the way your eyes reflect all the light from the sun, moon, and stars
or the way your arms and chest give me all the warmth i’ll ever need
or the way your body feels on mine when we know no such thing as space between me and you
or the way your breath touches all the right spots
or the way your heart is
or the way your actions show you truly listen
or the way your lips feel like the softest thing in the entire universe
or how every part of you fits every part of me in the most perfect and familiar way
one. two. and three.
my heart aches for the moments
that used to take my breath away;
existing in that soft and quiet in-between when i wake up before the morning rush,
staring out an airplane window,
the way my stomach feels when driving up and down a hill-like street,
dancing in a bar until two in the morning,
hearing the song from the crowd in a stadium,
ordering my usual pasta dish in my favorite restaurant,
looking at the the sunset on my walk back home,
walking on the sand,
holding your hand,
kissing you good night,
or simply waving goodbye without the uncertainty of seeing someone again.
— my heart aches to once more live out the passions and sweet simplicities of being human
i wish my eyes could see the views of mountains
i wish my eyes could see the waves pushing forward onto the shore
i wish my eyes could see the light of every sleeping hour from miles and miles away
i wish my eyes could see the warm light flashing from the sinking sun
i wish my eyes could see the dreams that people dream for themselves
i wish my eyes could see you, in a sea of what seems to be all love, hurt, hope, and rush of every dawn that comes
i wish my eyes could see myself standing in the midst of every breathing thing in this world
so that i may know
the life i want for myself before i leave it all to the blinding motions of every day
— because these eyes can only see for so long
it looked beautiful from high up
but it was even more beautiful up close
nothing can compare to its beauty
music, art, street life, people
every encounter sweeter than the last
i sat there, quietly
as i said goodbye to the city i love
— i will come back for you
weeks have passed
and here i stand
it’s been the fourth flight
the twentieth encounter with a new face
one too many destinations to count
and the healing goes on
i miss you
of course i do
and this will remain an unspoken truth
i love you
i always do
it’s something that will always live between me and you
but from a quiet distance
these will have to do
he loves me,
he loves me not.
i’m caught in between my own heartstrings,
and i can’t seem to connect the dots.